some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
