i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize