he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
