he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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