Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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