Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this will be a night to untag.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
