small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
