I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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