Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
