I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
