so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
