Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
