batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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