I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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