I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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