he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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