Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
