Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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