i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
