but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
