Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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