what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
