I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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