are you so shy because you have an std?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
