He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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