Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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