I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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