I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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