12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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