Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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