my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
