You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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