yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
