even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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