We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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