Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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