Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
