im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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