The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
