i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
