let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
zippers are such a cool invention
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
