The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
