Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
