at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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