let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
