They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So here I am, sexting at work.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
