We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
