Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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