New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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