i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
