I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
